Good News! The Recession isn't real!

I found a new white wine I'm in love with. You should try it, if you haven't already. It's called "Holy Cow" and yes the label has a cow with a halo on it. It's all together amazingness. 

So I think when you stopped shopping I started. it's like when someone breaks a leg and is in a lot of pain so the friends get sympathy pain (Or like in in certain "Perfect" friend of ours world, where she gets super quick barely there periods and I get mine twice a month, so I can bleed for the both of us. Too much?) Anyway. Back to what I was saying, My name is Ashley and I am a shopaholic. (And a wino at the moment) Yup. I need to go ahead and kick that one in the booty. If I can give up meat and cheese I can give up shopping. I may need to take up knitting or something though.

I did download the songs you told me to. I'm listening to them now. And I really love Meiko. 

ADHD,  I'm all over the place tonight. So here's a little story you're going to (hopefully) love.

So I go to my first official store-wide meeting. All of the girls from my store carpool up to the other store. We get there, mingle, (kind-of) eat pizza (Yes I ate cheese, and I am now regretting it) Do a cheesy little mixer, and then get down to "business" Where the owner proceeds to go down a list of things that she is pissed about or has noticed. But instead of telling the people who it's an actual issue with, she bitches at all of us, this includes two new girls who haven't even started yet. Ummm... super professional. Then she goes through some long speech on how to be a great salesperson. Which is fine (although I'm remembering that, although I may have retail talents, selling to people is not one of them) So anyways, she's going through this whole thing, and she gets towards the end and is telling us we need to really step up our customer service "because of the- I don't believe it and hate the word- recession." (Insert dumbfounded, baffled, bewildered look here) YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THE RECESSION!? You better believe that if I hadn't had carpooled and if my car wasn't 45 minutes away, my (now skinnier) ass would have walked itself right out of there and not looked back. I mean you've got to be kidding me, although this is the same woman who just took a private jet to Palm Springs last weekend, and because it was so nice decided to stay a few extra days. Must be nice, since there's not recession and all. I'm still livid. How do I attract these people, why do I keep working for small businesses. So I'm applying for new jobs as we speak. (Or as I type) 

I just needed a little vent. Sorry I let it out on you darhling. 

Love you and Miss you!! Can't wait to see you soon!

xoxxo

if you would come back home.

csi is coming on so i'll make this short and sweet: i miss you. please download "when the night comes" by dan auerbach and "if you would come back home" by william fitzsimmons, and call me in the morning. fin.

feed the soul.

the stars they disappear

one by one with daylight, dear

and yes, you're in my head, but that doesn't make you here.

and i've lost all my friends , but you're the one i miss the most

and now i'm almost there, yeah, i'm almost to the coast.

some things capturing my heart at the moment:

antler magazine. it's an online fashion, art, and culture magazine out of canada. it's still in it's beginning stages, and this is only the first issue, but it's really beautiful and inspiring, not to mention environmentally aware. i wonder if all magazines will be online one day. long story short, i'm in love. the photo spreads are gorgeous, and the art and interviews are insightful and well-written. i can't wait until the next issue. which brings me to my next site:

the paper apartment. this is a interior design and art blog out of boston. i read about it in the issue of antler and was instantly intrigued. the writer, angela, also has an etsy shop with some amazing paper goods and art prints. i am planning on making a purchase as soon as my shopping strike is over in a couple of weeks!

music-wise: "click click click click" by bishop allen. "the treehouse song" by ane brun. "dog days are over" by florence and the machine. "comme des enfants" by coeur de pirate. "brasso" by common market. "i'm gone, i'm going" by lesley roy. "maureen" by vetiver. "all i ever wanted" by kelly clarkson. "untouchable" by luna halo.

pop physique. i know amanda already blogged about it, but the pop sculpt class kicked my ass last week. i'm still sore, and i'm going back for more. it's such a great mix of yoga, pilates, and ballet barre. not to mention the semi-slutty floor exercises. amanda and i are trying to get tight and right for the summer, and i think this class is gonna do it.

so what's capturing your heart at the moment? besides the new boy toy. i miss you, and i wish you were able to join us in vegas next weekend. but don't you worry, i plan on drinking enough for the both of us. 

I apologize ahead of time for what you're about to read.

Hi. My name is Smash and I have been a very very bad blogger/friend. You have permission to slap my wrist.

Let me update you on my life in these past weeks.

 I’m still in Oregon. It’s still weird.

  Well as I texted you and the other ladies. I ran into the infamous Britni. It really didn’t go over the way I planned. I was hoping that either we would have had a yelling match where we could get everything out, or we could have talked it out. I just wanted to say “Hey, I’m back, we’re bound to run into each other, it’s a small town, lets not make it more awkward than it needs to be. I’m over this. I have no beef with you, so if I see you around I promise not to make it awkward for you. blah blah blah.” But no. All I get is a super bitchy “you’re a piece of shit look” Still on this note. My friend who’s the bartender is living with B’s twin sister so she asked about the whole thing. And apparently the reason B has a problem with me is because any time she had an issue I turned it around to make her the bad person. Ummm Hmm… I’m sorry that I was severely hurt by the fact that you started dating the guy that my stupid 19 year old ass thought I was going to marry 4 days after we broke up and I’m sorry that you made no effort to stay friends after I forgave you and we promised to try and work things out. Gah Chicks are stupid! J I like Britt’s with a “Y”. J

 

On another note. I got a job. I will be working at a super cute Boutique in downtown Salem. It’s one of the few that carries cute trendy clothes. I’m excited because I think we have AIM. J And we buy from your showroom!! J I really don’t want to get a job but I feel like if I don’t now I never will. My unemployment has been coming more often. J

 

As you and the ladies know, I’ve found myself a man cat. I know I know. It’s quick. So here’s the DL in typical Smash form. So it’s Feb. 16^th. (Yes I know the date and yes I know it’s lame) And I’ve just dyed my hair and my sisters (My mum had to go to the store and get more dye for mine because we ran out.) Anyways! So I head down to my favorite bare (MFB, the equivalent of The Helm) To have a beer and hang out with my twin. There I had a blast from my past, which I have every time I go out in Oregon. Where I ran into the now Man Cat for the first time. We hung out. There was a group of 4 or 5 of us. And then headed to another bar, which is our other fav. Hang out.  There we drank a lot of beer and danced a bunch (I was prolly one beat off) and then this creepy Hispanic man told the man cat that he should be glad he’s never been to prison. Which freaked him and all of us out a little bit. So after a bit more dancing and hanging out creepy prison man was still around, so I being the flirty drunk I am pretended I was with the man cat and kissed him, there was a bit of tongue. And then walked away to the bathroom. I came back a little bit later and I think we kissed again. My bartender friend asked me about it an of course I can’t lie I was like yea, we kissed. In my head I was thinking OMG!!! I kissed BLAH BLAH BLAH! So then bar time ends… which is 2:30 at this bar, and we decide to go to my parents house and play WII in the bonus room. Where all of us, there’s 4 of us now, put on costumes and play, and drink more. Then the other two go downstairs and smoke and then man cat and I make out a bit more. Then we fall asleep when the other two are still playing WII. Then at sometime either he pushes me off the couch or I kick him and fall off the couch, I’m not sure. But some how I end up waking up on the floor next to my bartender friend who is sleeping in an 80’s prom dress. J So the day ends we go on with our lives. Then a couple nights later same thing. Hang out make out, have good conversation and then we make a sober play date to go to the park and library. And as you know me. I have AWFUL gas as we’re at the library reading about Oregon and it’s history. But to be honest I had so much fun. Just sitting on the floor reading about random facts and stories about Oregon.

            So basically we’ve hung out almost every day since then. Doing random things. The day I met his mom and her boyfriend we had to make dinner for them, we didn’t have to, he just thought it was a good idea. So apparently I cook now. J. And his mom is the cutest thing. He’s like 6’2” and she’s like under 5’. And she’s a little ball of fire. So anyways, that’s where I am now. I’m twitterpated by a guy who is my man friend. I’m scared of the word boyfriend so I'm not quite sure if I want to use it or not yet. I know you hate hearing about this crap, just like I normally do. So I apologize. J But I need to get that out, don’t judge him for the Willamette tattoo!! J He’ll kick Amanda’s ass at a dance competition hands down, that by itself is enough to give him  a chance. J

And while you may not have been drunk watching Sabrina. I was while writting this. :) Love you boo!

xoxxo

Smash

pancake madness.

i can't fall asleep. there's nothing like watching sabrina, the teenage witch, in bed, at 1am. it's actually one of my favorite episodes; sabrina gets addicted to pancakes and her aunts lock her in her bedroom so she can detox. it always makes me want pancakes.

no, i'm not drunk.

and yes, i'm still not shopping! i actually feel like i want stuff less now.

i need to move out. that's my motivation.

goodnight, old friend.

no time like the present.

so as you know, friday night we went out in long beach for matt's birthday. i think it was the first time that we were all hanging out together, and there was no you. it was pretty awkward. i feel like i may have drank a little extra for you. nate brought a 40 of miller lite to the house, and a part of me wanted to take a sip and pour it out on the floor for you - "one for me, and one for my homie."

there is a definite disconnect now. something's missing, other than you. but i can't put my finger on it. the night was a lot of fun, though. it was the first time i've passed out next to amanda in a really long time. that makeshift crib was super comfortable, although i did get a pretty crazy cramp in my legs from sleeping in the fetal position all night.

i've been so used to sleeping in alana's bed, and then yours. so i'm a little nervous about staying overnight at the real world: costa mesa house; i hope i don't have to sleep on the couch like an, ahem, regular houseguest.

i would love to hear about your weekend. from the spelling errors in all your text messages, i could tell you were having a pretty good time. care to share?

my so-called trivialities.

"you're too young to be stuck in such a deep rut. get out and get cooking on something new."

- an excerpt from my daily horoscope, 03.11.09

such wise words. today i was tempted to call out sick from work and have a pity party in bed. i'm glad i didn't, because i randomly won a free coffee from starbucks this morning. also, i would have felt bad for going back on the plans i made to go to the fidm alumni thing this evening. so i rolled myself out of bed, which took a little while. and i went about my normal routine, trying to ignore the fact that my eyes were practically swollen shut from crying so much last night. it made it hard to put mascara on, i must admit.

you and i talked last night about how much our lives have changed lately; how even though we're in the same place that we were a few years ago, we are completely different people now. it's hard to find yourself back in a place that seems so familiar, yet so distant, because we're not who we were when we were last here. it's like everything and everyone around you is the same, and you're the only one who's done any growing, any learning, or any searching. 

today i realized that in the end, all you have is yourself. you're born into this word alone, and you leave this world alone too. you just have to hope that you make a big enough impact on people, and are open enough to let others make an impact on you. i have always thought of having friends as like being in mini-relationships; you work at them and put effort into them, just as you would a relationship with a significant other. it's a give and take, and just like i hate being in a relationship in which i'm doing all the work, i feel the same way about my relationships with my girlfriends. it's been hard for me to come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to think the same way that i do about this. we all do things differently, and many times our other responsibilities or priorities get in the way. but time is precious, and i just think that no matter what might be capturing my heart, or taking over my soul at any given time in my life, i am nothing without my friends and family. and even when a guy comes along and commands a huge chunk of my time, i will never fully abandon the people that stood by me during my highest highs and lowest lows. it's just not who i am. 

i think it's finally time for me to work on cutting through all the bullshit and the trivialities of my life and finding what's real, and what's pure. all the sadness and crying is not me; it's some weird, pathetic shell of a person that kinda resembles me but doesn't have any of the same personality traits that i do. she bugs me.

just know that i miss you so, so much, and i think about you all the time. i know we'll both make it through these crazy months in our "old" lives. you as roberta, tough and straightforward, and me as teeny, insecure and fragile and pudding-filled balloons in my bra.