hide and seek.

i don't think i've felt this lonely in a long time. 

i'm starting to wonder if this is just how my life is meant to be. no boyfriend, no friends around, just sitting here with my little dog, reading magazines and watching family guy. switch out family guy for forensic files, or without a trace, or maybe rock of love bus, and you have the next 40-50 years of my life, assuming i don't throw myself into traffic sometime before then.

seriously, i don't understand myself sometimes. i start to feel abandoned or ignored, so i just push myself further away from people, instead of admitting that i feel abandoned and ignored. all i know is, i don't like being friends with someone only when it's convenient for them. i don't think that i'm built for it. 

i'm over everything right now. i get that we all have priorities, and maybe i'm being a bit selfish. but i don't think i'm asking for much. i would just like to not feel so alone for once.