welcome back...again.

Good News! The Recession isn't real!

2009-04-27T22:32:00.000-07:00

I found a new white wine I'm in love with. You should try it, if you haven't already. It's called "Holy Cow" and yes the label has a cow with a halo on it. It's all together amazingness.

So I think when you stopped shopping I started. it's like when someone breaks a leg and is in a lot of pain so the friends get sympathy pain (Or like in in certain "Perfect" friend of ours world, where she gets super quick barely there periods and I get mine twice a month, so I can bleed for the both of us. Too much?) Anyway. Back to what I was saying, My name is Ashley and I am a shopaholic. (And a wino at the moment) Yup. I need to go ahead and kick that one in the booty. If I can give up meat and cheese I can give up shopping. I may need to take up knitting or something though.

I did download the songs you told me to. I'm listening to them now. And I really love Meiko.

ADHD, I'm all over the place tonight. So here's a little story you're going to (hopefully) love.

So I go to my first official store-wide meeting. All of the girls from my store carpool up to the other store. We get there, mingle, (kind-of) eat pizza (Yes I ate cheese, and I am now regretting it) Do a cheesy little mixer, and then get down to "business" Where the owner proceeds to go down a list of things that she is pissed about or has noticed. But instead of telling the people who it's an actual issue with, she bitches at all of us, this includes two new girls who haven't even started yet. Ummm... super professional. Then she goes through some long speech on how to be a great salesperson. Which is fine (although I'm remembering that, although I may have retail talents, selling to people is not one of them) So anyways, she's going through this whole thing, and she gets towards the end and is telling us we need to really step up our customer service "because of the- I don't believe it and hate the word- recession." (Insert dumbfounded, baffled, bewildered look here) YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THE RECESSION!? You better believe that if I hadn't had carpooled and if my car wasn't 45 minutes away, my (now skinnier) ass would have walked itself right out of there and not looked back. I mean you've got to be kidding me, although this is the same woman who just took a private jet to Palm Springs last weekend, and because it was so nice decided to stay a few extra days. Must be nice, since there's not recession and all. I'm still livid. How do I attract these people, why do I keep working for small businesses. So I'm applying for new jobs as we speak. (Or as I type)

I just needed a little vent. Sorry I let it out on you darhling.

Love you and Miss you!! Can't wait to see you soon!

xoxxo

if you would come back home.

2009-04-23T21:45:00.001-07:00

csi is coming on so i'll make this short and sweet: i miss you. please download "when the night comes" by dan auerbach and "if you would come back home" by william fitzsimmons, and call me in the morning. fin.

feed the soul.

2009-03-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

the stars they disappear

one by one with daylight, dear

and yes, you're in my head, but that doesn't make you here.

and i've lost all my friends , but you're the one i miss the most

and now i'm almost there, yeah, i'm almost to the coast.

some things capturing my heart at the moment:

antler magazine. it's an online fashion, art, and culture magazine out of canada. it's still in it's beginning stages, and this is only the first issue, but it's really beautiful and inspiring, not to mention environmentally aware. i wonder if all magazines will be online one day. long story short, i'm in love. the photo spreads are gorgeous, and the art and interviews are insightful and well-written. i can't wait until the next issue. which brings me to my next site:

the paper apartment. this is a interior design and art blog out of boston. i read about it in the issue of antler and was instantly intrigued. the writer, angela, also has an etsy shop with some amazing paper goods and art prints. i am planning on making a purchase as soon as my shopping strike is over in a couple of weeks!

music-wise: "click click click click" by bishop allen. "the treehouse song" by ane brun. "dog days are over" by florence and the machine. "comme des enfants" by coeur de pirate. "brasso" by common market. "i'm gone, i'm going" by lesley roy. "maureen" by vetiver. "all i ever wanted" by kelly clarkson. "untouchable" by luna halo.

pop physique. i know amanda already blogged about it, but the pop sculpt class kicked my ass last week. i'm still sore, and i'm going back for more. it's such a great mix of yoga, pilates, and ballet barre. not to mention the semi-slutty floor exercises. amanda and i are trying to get tight and right for the summer, and i think this class is gonna do it.

so what's capturing your heart at the moment? besides the new boy toy. i miss you, and i wish you were able to join us in vegas next weekend. but don't you worry, i plan on drinking enough for the both of us.

I apologize ahead of time for what you're about to read.

2009-03-25T14:37:00.000-07:00

Hi. My name is Smash and I have been a very very bad blogger/friend. You have permission to slap my wrist.

Let me update you on my life in these past weeks.

I’m still in Oregon. It’s still weird.

Well as I texted you and the other ladies. I ran into the infamous Britni. It really didn’t go over the way I planned. I was hoping that either we would have had a yelling match where we could get everything out, or we could have talked it out. I just wanted to say “Hey, I’m back, we’re bound to run into each other, it’s a small town, lets not make it more awkward than it needs to be. I’m over this. I have no beef with you, so if I see you around I promise not to make it awkward for you. blah blah blah.” But no. All I get is a super bitchy “you’re a piece of shit look” Still on this note. My friend who’s the bartender is living with B’s twin sister so she asked about the whole thing. And apparently the reason B has a problem with me is because any time she had an issue I turned it around to make her the bad person. Ummm Hmm… I’m sorry that I was severely hurt by the fact that you started dating the guy that my stupid 19 year old ass thought I was going to marry 4 days after we broke up and I’m sorry that you made no effort to stay friends after I forgave you and we promised to try and work things out. Gah Chicks are stupid! J I like Britt’s with a “Y”. J

On another note. I got a job. I will be working at a super cute Boutique in downtown Salem. It’s one of the few that carries cute trendy clothes. I’m excited because I think we have AIM. J And we buy from your showroom!! J I really don’t want to get a job but I feel like if I don’t now I never will. My unemployment has been coming more often. J

As you and the ladies know, I’ve found myself a man cat. I know I know. It’s quick. So here’s the DL in typical Smash form. So it’s Feb. 16^th. (Yes I know the date and yes I know it’s lame) And I’ve just dyed my hair and my sisters (My mum had to go to the store and get more dye for mine because we ran out.) Anyways! So I head down to my favorite bare (MFB, the equivalent of The Helm) To have a beer and hang out with my twin. There I had a blast from my past, which I have every time I go out in Oregon. Where I ran into the now Man Cat for the first time. We hung out. There was a group of 4 or 5 of us. And then headed to another bar, which is our other fav. Hang out. There we drank a lot of beer and danced a bunch (I was prolly one beat off) and then this creepy Hispanic man told the man cat that he should be glad he’s never been to prison. Which freaked him and all of us out a little bit. So after a bit more dancing and hanging out creepy prison man was still around, so I being the flirty drunk I am pretended I was with the man cat and kissed him, there was a bit of tongue. And then walked away to the bathroom. I came back a little bit later and I think we kissed again. My bartender friend asked me about it an of course I can’t lie I was like yea, we kissed. In my head I was thinking OMG!!! I kissed BLAH BLAH BLAH! So then bar time ends… which is 2:30 at this bar, and we decide to go to my parents house and play WII in the bonus room. Where all of us, there’s 4 of us now, put on costumes and play, and drink more. Then the other two go downstairs and smoke and then man cat and I make out a bit more. Then we fall asleep when the other two are still playing WII. Then at sometime either he pushes me off the couch or I kick him and fall off the couch, I’m not sure. But some how I end up waking up on the floor next to my bartender friend who is sleeping in an 80’s prom dress. J So the day ends we go on with our lives. Then a couple nights later same thing. Hang out make out, have good conversation and then we make a sober play date to go to the park and library. And as you know me. I have AWFUL gas as we’re at the library reading about Oregon and it’s history. But to be honest I had so much fun. Just sitting on the floor reading about random facts and stories about Oregon.

So basically we’ve hung out almost every day since then. Doing random things. The day I met his mom and her boyfriend we had to make dinner for them, we didn’t have to, he just thought it was a good idea. So apparently I cook now. J. And his mom is the cutest thing. He’s like 6’2” and she’s like under 5’. And she’s a little ball of fire. So anyways, that’s where I am now. I’m twitterpated by a guy who is my man friend. I’m scared of the word boyfriend so I'm not quite sure if I want to use it or not yet. I know you hate hearing about this crap, just like I normally do. So I apologize. J But I need to get that out, don’t judge him for the Willamette tattoo!! J He’ll kick Amanda’s ass at a dance competition hands down, that by itself is enough to give him a chance. J

And while you may not have been drunk watching Sabrina. I was while writting this. :) Love you boo!

xoxxo

Smash

pancake madness.

2009-03-18T00:57:00.000-07:00

i can't fall asleep. there's nothing like watching sabrina, the teenage witch, in bed, at 1am. it's actually one of my favorite episodes; sabrina gets addicted to pancakes and her aunts lock her in her bedroom so she can detox. it always makes me want pancakes.

no, i'm not drunk.

and yes, i'm still not shopping! i actually feel like i want stuff less now.

i need to move out. that's my motivation.

goodnight, old friend.

no time like the present.

2009-03-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

so as you know, friday night we went out in long beach for matt's birthday. i think it was the first time that we were all hanging out together, and there was no you. it was pretty awkward. i feel like i may have drank a little extra for you. nate brought a 40 of miller lite to the house, and a part of me wanted to take a sip and pour it out on the floor for you - "one for me, and one for my homie."

there is a definite disconnect now. something's missing, other than you. but i can't put my finger on it. the night was a lot of fun, though. it was the first time i've passed out next to amanda in a really long time. that makeshift crib was super comfortable, although i did get a pretty crazy cramp in my legs from sleeping in the fetal position all night.

i've been so used to sleeping in alana's bed, and then yours. so i'm a little nervous about staying overnight at the real world: costa mesa house; i hope i don't have to sleep on the couch like an, ahem, regular houseguest.

i would love to hear about your weekend. from the spelling errors in all your text messages, i could tell you were having a pretty good time. care to share?

my so-called trivialities.

2009-03-11T22:54:00.000-07:00

"you're too young to be stuck in such a deep rut. get out and get cooking on something new."

- an excerpt from my daily horoscope, 03.11.09

such wise words. today i was tempted to call out sick from work and have a pity party in bed. i'm glad i didn't, because i randomly won a free coffee from starbucks this morning. also, i would have felt bad for going back on the plans i made to go to the fidm alumni thing this evening. so i rolled myself out of bed, which took a little while. and i went about my normal routine, trying to ignore the fact that my eyes were practically swollen shut from crying so much last night. it made it hard to put mascara on, i must admit.

you and i talked last night about how much our lives have changed lately; how even though we're in the same place that we were a few years ago, we are completely different people now. it's hard to find yourself back in a place that seems so familiar, yet so distant, because we're not who we were when we were last here. it's like everything and everyone around you is the same, and you're the only one who's done any growing, any learning, or any searching.

today i realized that in the end, all you have is yourself. you're born into this word alone, and you leave this world alone too. you just have to hope that you make a big enough impact on people, and are open enough to let others make an impact on you. i have always thought of having friends as like being in mini-relationships; you work at them and put effort into them, just as you would a relationship with a significant other. it's a give and take, and just like i hate being in a relationship in which i'm doing all the work, i feel the same way about my relationships with my girlfriends. it's been hard for me to come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to think the same way that i do about this. we all do things differently, and many times our other responsibilities or priorities get in the way. but time is precious, and i just think that no matter what might be capturing my heart, or taking over my soul at any given time in my life, i am nothing without my friends and family. and even when a guy comes along and commands a huge chunk of my time, i will never fully abandon the people that stood by me during my highest highs and lowest lows. it's just not who i am.

i think it's finally time for me to work on cutting through all the bullshit and the trivialities of my life and finding what's real, and what's pure. all the sadness and crying is not me; it's some weird, pathetic shell of a person that kinda resembles me but doesn't have any of the same personality traits that i do. she bugs me.

just know that i miss you so, so much, and i think about you all the time. i know we'll both make it through these crazy months in our "old" lives. you as roberta, tough and straightforward, and me as teeny, insecure and fragile and pudding-filled balloons in my bra.

lost and ffffound.

2009-03-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

just a few things that are providing inspiration for me at the mo:

hide and seek.

2009-03-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

i don't think i've felt this lonely in a long time.

i'm starting to wonder if this is just how my life is meant to be. no boyfriend, no friends around, just sitting here with my little dog, reading magazines and watching family guy. switch out family guy for forensic files, or without a trace, or maybe rock of love bus, and you have the next 40-50 years of my life, assuming i don't throw myself into traffic sometime before then.

seriously, i don't understand myself sometimes. i start to feel abandoned or ignored, so i just push myself further away from people, instead of admitting that i feel abandoned and ignored. all i know is, i don't like being friends with someone only when it's convenient for them. i don't think that i'm built for it.

i'm over everything right now. i get that we all have priorities, and maybe i'm being a bit selfish. but i don't think i'm asking for much. i would just like to not feel so alone for once.

Oh 40 days and 40 nights.

2009-03-03T10:59:00.000-08:00

I've got nothing new and exciting going on in bOregon. Besides the fact that I have been roped into going to a Mary Kay party with my aunt who sells Mary Kay next week. Whoo Hoo!

I really just wanted to say that I am stinking proud of you! (And so is this ninja girl and creepy man)

xoxxo
Smash

40 days.

2009-03-01T20:19:00.000-08:00

so, i think you'll be pleased to know that i have officially decided to give up shopping for lent. no clothes, no shoes, no accessories, no home decor. i am only permitted to buy things like groceries, a magazine, maybe some toothpaste? 40 days is a long fucking time, but i'm super excited nonetheless. it'll give me a chance to save money, but more importantly, i think it will give me a new perspective.

this business is so crazy sometimes, and it takes so much out of you. i have no idea how far this job will take me, but what i do know is that being in this industry makes it way too easy to get wrapped up in all the wrong things. i don't want to be someone that has to have all the new bags, or shoes, or jeans or whatever. of course i love clothes; there's no arguing that fact. but i don't want to be a slave to this business. i don't want it to control my life, or my wallet.

i have a lot of fun going to the shows. but i always get home and hate everything in my closet. you see so many cute girls with so much cute stuff, and being the young, impressionable gal that i am, i tend to want everything i see. i have literally stopped buyers and other reps in the aisles to ask where they got their bag, shoes, necklace, etc. and then i run back to the booth and use whatever scrap paper i can find to write down the name/brand/store. i'm not proud.

so basically, i'm hoping that giving up shopping for 40 days will keep some much-needed money in my pocket, as well as help me realize that no, i don't need everything i see. i have enough. and having doesn't make you any better of a person anyway.

i will make you proud.

miss and love you.

You know you're in Oregon when...

2009-03-01T12:40:00.000-08:00

So... I don't have mono, but I am sleeping like it's going out of style. Going to bed at 2 and waking up at noon or one is becoming normal for me... hmmm...

Anyway. When Amanda left we said that she was the glue. I mean she was the one who brought us all together. :) I will say that I am terrible at phone calls. Especially to certain perfect girls, I think it's because I know her schedule and it always seems like I have time to call when she'd be in happy baby, or up dog pose. :(

It my subconsciously be sinking in that I do indeed live in Oregon. As I type I am sitting in front of a happy light (The ones that fake sunshine) Yup. This is what my life has come to. You'll be glad to know that I have stayed away from Crocs and Tevas. So far. That's all I have for now. I miss you. I love you and I really REALLY wish we could go down to Sharkee's get a pitcher of Margaritas and not even set foot on the beach. :)

xoxxo
Smash

way to fall off the face of the earth, self.

2009-02-25T17:36:00.000-08:00

now, i'm not going to go as far as saying that you were the glue that held our friends together, but uhh - i think you were the duct tape, at least.

i've been running running running flying flying flying and i'm extremely exhausted. i feel completely out of touch with the people i care most about. and to make matters worse, i'm now involved in a(nother) bitter financial situation -- my security deposit is being held hostage by an individual who shall remain nameless. ahem.

i have no idea what anybody is doing or saying or wanting or thinking. i feel completely detached, and i don't like it. as always, everybody has somebody and all i have is a dog with overactive tearducts and a bald spot, and a pocketful of plane tickets and cab receipts.

Welcome to Reality I guess.

2009-02-23T19:14:00.000-08:00

I think I might have a nervous breakdown.

I understand that in the past I've been naive.

I've pretty much always separated myself from things I can't handle.

Well I've just moved back to what I can't handle.

I always heard of my friends doing drugs and whatnot, but I was able to separate myself from that.

But when I go and hang out with one of my best guy friends and he goes and tells one of our mutual friends (while I'm in the room) that he smoked heroin this morning. I'm sorry. I cannot take that. That is something that I am SO not okay with and So cannot handle. What am I supposed to do with that information?! What am I supposed to do with this person?!

I'm not equipped for this shit. What am I doing back here??

new york state of mind.

2009-02-21T18:32:00.000-08:00

so, i'm in new york. it's beautiful and freezing as always.

i didn't blog from vegas because the internet in the hotel cost $14.99 a day, and i just couldn't get down with that. i had a good time though; there are always a ton of parties and dinners to go to, and people to hug and air-kiss and pretend that i like. i missed you guys a lot.

i slept the whole way on the plane this morning. that never happens. i think it's because i brought my own pillow, like a college student. or maybe it's because i took a couple tylenol pm. either way, it was nice to wake up from a sound sleep and not have a crick in my neck.

as much as i love being able to travel, and stay in fancy hotels on someone else's dime, i really wish these two shows weren't back-to-back like this. i miss my bed and my dog. i think carrie thinks i abandoned her, and she's going to live with my sister forever. sad kinda.

it's 10pm here, so i'm gonna hit the hay. very early day tomorrow.

T.M.I.

2009-02-17T17:55:00.000-08:00

So while your in Vegas, well rested since your old woman ass was in bed by 9.. My sleepy slightly hung over ass had a night on the "town" last night in Keizer, OR. I had another high school reunion last night, and had the JOY of hearing TMI about my own life.

So I ran into we'll call him "Craig", and back in the days of being 16 him and I had had a small laps of what young bucks like to call "dating" needless to say it didn't last. Well "Craig" decides to bring up a story, which I was choosing for the last 7 years to forget, but as the alcohol flows so do the awkward stories.
Back in high school I had a master key to my dads vacant and newly built houses, I think my dad trusted me a little too much. So we went on a few occasions and drank in those empty houses. This particular night it was one of my best girlfriends "Craig" his best friend and a random. We had blankets, a collapsible cup, Tylenol and a 5th of 151. So numerous shots later and all of us helping my best friend puke, we all retire to different rooms.
"Craig" and I are in the master, doing what 16 year olds do, making out, fondling and a little dry humping. Again we were 16 and "Craig" liked to reiterate to me while telling this story that he was a virgin. So in my version we fool around pass out and then I wake up in the middle of the night with "Craig" humping my leg. "Craig" denys that part, but does not deny and insists on telling me this: Apparently while fooling around he busted a nut and had to excuse himself to go and clean himself up. I have NO recollection of that-nor did I want it.
So now not only did I have to relive yet another of my bad drunken make-out decisions I now have the added bonus of a pre-mature ejaculater.

Just another reason why I love being back.

As for travel and live. I want to travel to:

1. Italy
2. Georgia
3. New York

Move... I need to visit some more places but I wouldn't mind moving to San the Franish Area.

xoxxo

Smash

things i'm loving (besides you).

2009-02-15T19:56:00.000-08:00

i just finished packing for vegas, and i thought i'd sneak in a quick post before i retire to bed (shut up, i know it's only 8:00). here are some things that i just wanted you to be aware of:

1. angus & julia stone (see above). yes, angus is hot. and fortunately for us, julia is his sister, not his girlfriend. they're from australia, and they sing the most beautiful songs ever. i found out about them a couple of weeks ago but i guess i just wasn't ready to share until now. i told alana about them too; hopefully i'll be able to drag her with me to see them at the house of blues next month. i beg you to download some of their songs. my favorites are "bella", "just a boy", and "stranger", just to name a few.

2. zenhabits.net .the guy that writes this blog is a saint, i swear. he has so much good advice and so many good stories. he has a bunch of articles about saving money, having patience, and being content with what you have. check it out immediately.

3. traveling/relocating. i have three places in mind that i want to visit, and three places in mind that i would consider moving to. the first list is bali, italy, and australia. the second is austin, boston, and san francisco. where i'm getting the money to visit or move to these places, i'm not yet sure -- but a girl can and will dream. where are your three visit/relocate places?

4. i miss you more each day. that is all.

viva las vegas,

britt

single and fabulous question mark

2009-02-14T21:19:00.000-08:00

happy valentine's day! i hope you're having a good day. i wonder how many girls are getting pregnant, right now, as i type this. hmmm. maybe it's just because valentine's day falls on a saturday this year, but i'm not feeling the hype as much as i normally do. maybe it's because i've been at home all day, doing laundry and watching forensic files, and not out on the street having to be around a ton people in love. or maybe it's because i've been around people in love all year, so why should it bother me today? either way, i'm feeling a lot better than i thought i would.

unfortunately, i don't have any tales of jailbirds or (former?) meth addicts, and i feel that it's because i haven't really made much time to go anywhere out here yet. i admit it, i have no life right now. and i half-expected it to be this way; by the time i get home from work, i only have enough energy to drink wine and watch tv. but for the sake of this experiment, i promise i will make more effort to explore some of my old rancho cucamonga haunts -- no matter how disgusting i feel afterward.

in other news, bank of america has once again raped me in the butt with their heinous overdraft charges -- there's five this time, at 35 bucks a pop. why can't they just decline my card, instead of letting me buy something? nooooo, they let the Starbucks transaction go through, and now i've just paid $38 for a latte. shitheads.

with that said, i'm bringing my cowie bank to the coinstar machine tomorrow. i just spent the last half an hour scouring the house for loose change. i think i found at least another ten bucks! i might just be able to fill up my gas tank all the way this week! i'm on fire!

Happy V(agina) Day!!

2009-02-14T18:07:00.000-08:00

Miss you.

xoxxo
Smash

Go to Jail. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $100.00.

2009-02-14T10:43:00.000-08:00

My many random visits home could not have prepared me for what I am in for in the next months. I may have lied to you. I may not be coming back alive.

I went out last night with my Twin. I've missed her a bit. We went over to her friends house and drank wine and watched a movie, it was a lot of fun just hanging out. Well as the night wore on to all of 9:30 we decided it was time to go to the next place, So we decided to go to Ringo's, There is no place that we've gone to that I can compare, it's bigger than most dive bars and the lights are always on, they did have really good food during the day, but I hear it's gotten pretty bad. Anyway. Nothing too exciting happened there so we left. To go to Crossroads, the bar my Twin used to work for and the bar my other friend still works for.

So we go, there's three guys sitting at the bar, two of which I recognize, I say hi to one that was in my class, "Oh hey how are you," he says to me, "good, how are you?". His response: "Not to bad but they keep putting me back in jail." Acting as if this is something I hear on a daily basis, I giggle. Who says that?! Who-Who says that?!

Then I look over and realize that I do know the 3rd guy sitting at the bar. I actually knew him more than the others, at least a 20 year younger version of him. He basically looked like a mix between Cheech and Chong , and looked about 40. Apparently drugs are bad for you.

So the night goes on I see a couple of other people, nothing too eventful. Then another kid we know comes in, he reeks of weed, and announces he is finally off parole and probation. (he went to jail a few years back with charges of possession and distributing for a minor, one of the last times I had seen him he was hard into Meth or something of that nature) So anyways. We congratulate him? And in his coat he has an apple pipe and a big'ol and I mean big'ol bag of weed. Alrighty then. He actually is a super nice kid, just yea, so him and my twin start talking about their DUI's and everyone else in town that has DUI's and rehab and their counselers. And I'm just sitting there a little shell shocked.

I am looking forward to a trip to Portland with my Twin and her friend, because I can't wait to chat with people that live in a metropolitan area! It's like when we went to L.A. and stayed at Amanda's and you talked to white beanie and there were those other guys that were such a breath of fresh air. I need that, and I've only been here 6 days. I don't know if I'm going to make it out alive.

xoxxo
Your Friend who hasn't been to Rehab, or had a DUI or gone to Jail,

Smash

Today on the Smash Show:

2009-02-12T15:27:00.000-08:00

CONGRATULATIONS!

It hasn't quite sunk in with me either, I mean I know that all of my belonging are in my room and my car's here and all that jazz, but I still feel like I'll be going back. Maybe once I get my deposit and part of February's rent back I'll feel like I've moved. It could also be because I haven't left my house except to walk to my neighbors and sit on his couch and run random errands with my mum. Due to the fact that I hate, I repeat, HATE, the unemployment offices. I'm beginning to think they don't exist, I just keep getting different automated women telling me to call at a different time. "I want my money bitch!" (Spoken in the voice of Pearl the Landlord)

You know how your parents always threatened you when you were younger that they hope you have a child just like you. Well does it count if your parents accidently reproduced 14 years after your birth and created a mimic of you? Taylor is exactly the little shit head I was as I child. And he is one of the many reasons I hope not to reproduce. I love the little bugger, but I would not like one of my own, thank you very much.

Since beginning this little blog, I have indeed recieved my unemployment check! Whoo Hoo! Money, money, money, Money, MON-EE!

Now it's time for the job hunt... and I am off!

xoxxo
Smash

pretty penny.

2009-02-11T20:51:00.000-08:00

so, yesterday i got a little baby promotion. i'm now the southern california sales rep for ogle tee shirts (i just gave myself that official title - how do you like it?). the good news is, with the state of the economy, the expectations for me are pretty freaking low, which means less pressure, which means less stress. i'm excited and nervous at the same time. if i can change the direction of the line, and bring in new business, it'll look amazing for me, as well as the company. and i could certainly use the extra money. but if i fail, it's pretty much over. i'm trying to stay positive. i have a huge list of potential stores i want to get ogle into; the challenge is trying to get people to take on a new line at a time like this. wish me luck.

it hasn't yet sunk in that you've moved. i don't think it really will until all of us are together, and you're just not there. and then i'm sure i'll weep a little. and the sense of loss will take over me, and about 17 hours later, i'll be on your doorstep.

starting monday, i'll be gone for a week and a half; vegas, then new york city. but i'll have my laptop with me at all times, so just consider me taking this show on the road. i'll think of you every time i see penny slots in vegas. which will be every second. and i'll think of you again when i see pizza-by-the-slice in new york city. which will also be every second.

- britt

ps. hang in there, baby. at least your roommates don't howl, or shit on the floor, like mine does.

A week ago I was laying at the beach...

2009-02-10T13:06:00.000-08:00

So you know how on Grandma's boy when Nick Swardson calls his parents his "roommates" That's how I feel right now. I feel like I'm living with bad roommates, not so much in the sense of my parents, but I've forgotten how to live with siblings. They leave dirty dishes every where, there's socks in places socks should never be found. Taylor is working at becoming an inventor, At the moment covering our kitchen floor is "A kitty palace" Basically an array of my moving boxes, clear contact paper and 3 different types of tape. All for the cat that my brother constantly tortures. Speaking of Pets, our Larger than life Labrador, Jake, Went on a little adventure with Mr. Don Jensen to the scrap yard and Jake decided to scrape his ass on something sharp, therefore needing stitches and having to wear a cone. Now, picture Jake without the cone, Big, thinks he weighs about 10 pounds (more like 140), Stupid and klutzy. Now ad that beautiful giant white cone on his head and you've got my Welcome home committee. Let me just say it was priceless. Oh yea. And the fact that I woke up to snow this morning!! Uhg. I hate snow.

xoxxo
Smash

It's Officially Official

2009-02-09T11:54:00.000-08:00

Well. I made it.

I almost had an anxiety attack when we drove into Salem, It’s a good thing my mom was driving and that I had to pee so bad or I may have turned around.

So on to the current negatives, I HAVE NO INTERNET UPSTAIRS! Well, sometimes. At this exact moment I am typing in a word document and then I’ll paste it in our loverly blog when the Internet decides to show itself again. Lame.

So I’m here, My room is 99% finished. I can’t tell you how happy I am that they built an Ikea in Portland, if that wasn’t there I may have a heart attack. I need storage containers immediately, You though you had a lot of stuff?! Damn our love for reading, Movies and framed photos. There are books in so many random places in my room right now it’s ridiculous.

Oh a little positive note, my bathroom’s in my room so I got the joy of wandering around my room naked after my shower, it was lovely. Very liberating. (How’s that mental image for ya!)

Last night while I was unpacking, my neighbor, who is also 23 and just moved home, came over and was sitting on my floor drinking a 40. (Oh yea, Classy) and the two of us were just like, wow; I feel like we’re in high school again. And then of course Avril Lavign (Sp?) came on the radio, settling the fact that we were indeed back to 2002. As long as I don’t start wearing Etnies and stone washed flared leg jeans. I think I’ll be okay.

I miss you already, I’ll be back soon!

xoxxo

Smash

brokenhearted.

2009-02-08T15:53:00.000-08:00

dear oregon,

are you happy now? you have ashley.

please don't swallow her up into the rainy abyss that is your state.

thanks,

britt

shit, meet fan.

2009-02-05T11:50:00.000-08:00

it's official: domino magazine is folding. it's so sad; it's one of my favorites. i know this doesn't count as a national tragedy or anything, but i just really love reading that magazine. i always get really great ideas and inspiration from them. please don't tell me lucky is next!

i'm starting to get really anxious as to when this stupid recession is going to be over. my boss keeps talking about how she's been through times like this twice already, and they lasted for over two years. two more years of this is going to drive me cuckoo, like really. i'm thankful that i actually have a home to go back to, because if i didn't, i would literally be on the streets right now. how is it possible for me to have just gotten paid yesterday, and already be teetering on the verge of broke? i think there are tiny, money-hungry elves just sucking my funds dry in the middle of the night. it's like i wake up every morning to see that i have less and less money. how much do kidneys go for these days?

switching gears -- kind of -- about six or seven months ago, a little yoga studio opened up near my work. it's called peace yoga, and i pass it every day on my way to and from my parking lot. the woman that owns it is super-sweet, and i always stop and say hi to her while she's out watering her peace lily tree, or sweeping, or reading. she has tons of little knick-knacks in the window, as well as a big chalkboard that stands outside. and every day, rain or shine, she writes an inspirational messgae on it. well, one morning, i was walking past, feeling particulary broke and down on my luck, (i think i had something like, negative $150 in my bank account) and i saw this:

now, i don't know about you, but when i see a sign, i know it. especially when the sign is literally a sign. so i snapped a picture of it, and made it the background wallpaper on my laptop. i wanted to be able to see it all the time. i then made it a point to not let my empty pockets hold me back; from taking chances, from having fun, and just finding new ways to get around my lack of financial security. and even though i still get super frustrated, i know that one day, i'll be making the big bucks, while actually doing something that i love. i just hope it's soon.

on that note, i'm back to work.

- britt

I guess I'll just focus on the Positives for now.

2009-02-05T09:55:00.000-08:00

I agree, we should look at the positives, and not the negatives (We'll talk about those when I'm two months in and will do anything to get away from the moss and rain)

Pros:

Free Rent.
Walk-in closet
My very own bathroom.
Free Gym membership.
Extended wardrobe, including shoes, thanks to little sista.
Extended Movie Selection.
Dutch Bros. Coffee.
Free Internet.
See the Siblings.
Catch up with old friends.
Re-group.
Embrace my inner Hippie.
Enjoy Beautiful Nature.
Remember why I moved away.

Yup. That's about all I've got so far.

xoxxo

Smash.

don't feel bad; i always drink while i watch intervention.

2009-02-03T17:53:00.000-08:00

sure, it may seem counterintuitive. but it's not like i have the problem -- they do!

if it makes you feel any better, i have a courtney love meltdown about once a month, sometimes twice. but you know that two-year period when court-court was all glam, and polished, and sober? well, i'm sure i'll have one of those too. which is why i think we should just be glad that we have each other for when those moments occur, than try to avoid them. i mean, it's only natural to get shitfaced and shove your best friend. i'm just glad i wasn't near the balcony.

i think we should be happy that you're moving to oregon, rather than like, kansas or nebraska or somewhere. my friend kasey's fiance just got transferred to oklahoma, and she's about to slit her wrists. so even though you're not in the same state, you're only a hop, skip and a few unwashed miscreants away.

Just Call Me Courtney, Love That Is.

2009-02-02T23:23:00.000-08:00

Maybe I drank a lot of white wine, maybe I didn't. I'll never tell.

Side-note: I'm sitting in bed and I just got a whiff of your scent. Creepy, I know. But I'm sure you'll appreciate it.

ANYWAY: So I was sitting alone downstairs, watching Intervention and drinking wine (Yea I'm an awful person I know, And the chick was a wino.) And then I took a break outside (NOT to smoke a cigerette even though I'm sick, I'm going to go ahead and leave my bad spelling of a cancer stick, thus proving I am not a real smoker because I can't spell it) ANYWAY: It finally hit me. I mean, You're just a hop, skip and a few nautical stars away. :) I am going to be an ENTIRE days drive away, and not even a fun drive.

I mean I was sitting alone thinking about this:

Britt wrote at 11:59pm

"you're crying over a lot of things right now. you're crying because you're lactose-intolerant. you're crying because your uggs are fake. you're crying because you have to move back into your parent's house. you're crying because amanda's wearing a onesie. you're crying because you want laventina's. you're crying because your roots are growing out..."

I mean Who else in my life, After I pushed them, tried to choke out my roommate, made out with a total tool bag (who also shagged a roommate) and generally made a complete and total ass of themselves. Would take the time to make me feel better about my Courtney Love meltdown.

What if I have another one? I guess this means I'm just going to have to hurry up, find a job, make lots of money and get my ass back here. I'll miss you boo. But remember, We'll always have ichat. (Don't worry I hear your little voice going ""Oh GOD" in my head.) <3

xoxxo

Smash

drink until we forget why we're drinking.

2009-02-01T23:38:00.000-08:00

just a couple things:

a) i'm still hungover.

b) i'mma miss your hugs.

c) i went to jeanette's, and it was a lot of fun. there were like 30 or 40 people there, lots of old friends. everyone cheered when i walked in; it was a good feeling to hear people telling me how excited they were that i was back. i wasn't expecting that. not like i thought people would be grossed out that i was home, but it really made me excited to reconnect with people i haven't spoken to or seen much of in the past year and a half. i think it'll be good to be closer to them. i'm sure you'll feel the same way when you get to oregon. you just have to force yourself to get over the shame and frustration of having to move back into your childhood home - LOL - and then you'll realize how nice it is to be near people that really missed you and care about you. and then, when you move back to california, you'll have the same feeling, because we will miss you so much, and will be so fucking happy that you're back.

d) thank you for my miniature strawberry patch :)

e) thank you for being you.

- b

At least I have options...

2009-01-29T21:53:00.000-08:00

(photo from ffffound)

You know the economy's bad when you start having conversations like this:

ME: I'm moving back in with the parentals.

FRIEND: holy shit

ME: yup. Good bye independence

FRIEND: goodbye sanity

FRIEND: not that u had much 2 begin with...

ME:Ha ha. true

FRIEND: but DAMN

FRIEND: I can't imagine

ME: Well... Free rent. my own bathroom a bigger room and a giant closet are the pluses.

Yup. the WHOLE fam

FRIEND: WOW, the fam damily

FRIEND: that sucks dude, i'm sorry

ME: Meh. this will give me a chance to save up

FRIEND: true

FRIEND: this means you are gunna have 2 cut back on the booze too

ME: Haha true

FRIEND: that shits expensive

ME: I'll just have to become a hooker

FRIEND: or drug dealer

FRIEND: or both! double the income

ME: hahaha

FRIEND: just don't turn into a crack hoe

FRIEND: I'm sure there are some high class call girls making good money in Portland

ME: I wouldn't doubt it

FRIEND: what about being a stripper?

ME: I'll have to see if Firehouse is hiring

FRIEND: they probably are

FRIEND: plus u get 2 drink for free while you work there Donny says

ME: Sweet. Dream job.

FRIEND: yea, and you'd only have 2 work like 3 days a week

FRIEND: I met a girl that stripped at the firehouse, she wasn't cute at all, so I'm sure you'd at least get hired

ME: Hahaha.

FRIEND: when u moving?

ME: Next week.

FRIEND: damn!

FRIEND: goodluck!

ME:thanks

FRIEND: night, and hope everything works for ya

FRIEND: and I won't think less of you if you end up stripping, just an FYI

ME:ha ha thanks

FRIEND: i mean, come on, economic times are tuff

FRIEND: we will have u come up with a cool/sexy stripper name 4 you

FRIEND: unless u already have one

ME: You think about it and get back to me

FRIEND: haha, that'd be awesome if you used a suggestion I gave you

FRIEND: it should be something foreign sounding too

FRIEND: like Lotta Fagina

ME: Oh geeze

xoxxo- Smash

See You Next Tuesday

2009-01-28T00:30:00.000-08:00

I can't wait to get a welcome to your new home catalog. Do you think they'll send one if the house you're moving into is 5 months behind on the mortgage and on the brink of foreclosure? Just a question.

Sometimes I feel like my life is a movie, not an oscar winning movie, more like I badly lit want to be comedy where the audience spends more time with their hands covering their faces with embarrassment for the characters than laughing with or at them. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to see where the newest addition to this low budget film takes us... Because as our loverly friends see it I have a few choices...

I will either:

A. Fall in love with some unwashed miscreant in Oregon and get knocked up.

B. Hate life living back with the fam and move back in a month.

C. Meet and Marry Rudy Fernandez of the Portland Trail Blazers (a girl can dream)

D. Become and unwashed Oregon miscreant and start wearing Crocs, Pooka Shells and Aeropostale.

E. Save up the money I need to, regroup and move back, live comfortably and enjoy my twenties. (My choice)

Stay tuned, this should be interesting.

xoxxo

Smash

are you there, recession?

2009-01-27T22:02:00.000-08:00

so you know how i got my mail forwarded? i checked the mailbox last night and found a full-fledged packaged envelope from west elm. inside was their new catalog, a coupon for 20% off my "next purchase", and a letter congratulating me on my new home.

oh, west elm. how nice of you to assume that i've just bought my own place. little do you know, i've moved back into my dad's house. and although i appreciate the 20% discount, i would prefer if you didn't tempt me with the very thing i'm trying not to do: shop. with that said, i looked through the catalog, and of course there were more than a few things that i wanted, but i'm really trying to stick with this whole saving money thing. if i move home for the sole purpose of socking away some cash, and still find myself broke in six months, you need to put me away somewhere. like, seriously.

in case you were wondering, the commute isn't too bad. i wake up at 8, leave by 9, and am at work by 9:45. not too shabby! the drive home is a different story, though. there's a pretty good amount of traffic, and i get home around 7:30. it sucks; i was working on getting my road rage under control and this is really going to set me back.

i'm going to finish watching real housewives and go through the west elm catalog again. shut up.

under the umbrella tree?

-b